TwiFight


twifightlogo

An argumentative bookclub podcast
discussing the pros (and cons)
of the Twilight Saga


Co-host: Rachel Stukenborg
Music: Will from America









Potato Count

Running total: 38 potatoes – honorary 39
Chapter 1: 4
– sports (pg 10)
– tripped over her own boots (pg 17)
– stumbled over a book (pg 23)
– volleyball (pg 26)
Chapter 2: 2
– volleyball, hit team in head (pg 30)
– almost hit someone with her truck (pg 52)
Chapter 3: 2
– slip on ice near truck (pg 54)
– staggering in hospital (pg 63)
Chapter 4: 6
– dancing outside range of capabilities (pg 71)
– dancing is a safety hazard (pg 73)
– trips, drops books (pg 75)
– basketball, fell, took people down (pg 75)
– dicing chicken carefully (pg 79)
– dropped key into puddle (pg 81)
Chapter 5: 0
Chapter 6: 3
-fell over a girl in gym (pg 113)
-had fallen into tide pools often (pg 116)
-scrapes on palms, knees of jeans stained green (pg 117)
Chapter 7: 1
-unleashed with a badminton racket (pg 146)
Chapter 8: 2
-would trip and fall while running from the men on the street(pg 159)
-scrambled awkwardly to her feet (pg 177)
Chapter 9: 1
-falls down a lot when she runs (pg 191)
Chapter 10: 2
-ordinary except for near death experiences and being abnormally clumsy (pg 210)
-can’t walk across a ‘flat, stable surface without finding something to trip over’ (pg 212)
Chapter 11: 3
-worried about her balance due to sexy bio movie (pg 220)
-more badminton (pg 221)
-has trouble changing clothes (pg 231)
Chapter 12: 2
-has trouble with ‘simple’ deadbolt (pg 252)
-the horrors of hiking (pg 258)
Chapter 13: 0
Chapter 14: 0
Chapter 15: 2
-bounds down the stairs into Edward (pg 319)
-passes out while kissing (pg 319)
Chapter 16: 0
Chapter 17: 4
-charlie knows bella can’t play baseball (pg 358)
-jeep seatbelt/harness(pg 360)
-preparing to jump into jeep(pg 360)
-falling off edward’s back(pg 364)
Chapter 18: 0
Chapter 19: 1
-bella is physically moved from place to place
Chapter 20: 1
-bella was terrible at ballet (pg 420)
Chapter 21: 0
Chapter 22: 1
-bella falls while running to ballet studio (pg 442)
Chapter 23: 0
Chapter 24: 0
Epilogue: 1
-bella is extremely panicked at the thought of dancing (full chapter)






Food Count

Running total: 13 food subplots
Chapter 2: 1
– steak, baked potatoes, salad
Chapter 4: 1
– chicken enchiladas
Chapter 5: .5
– lemonade bottle
Chapter 7: 2
– bowl of cereal
– marinates fish, salad, bread
Chapter 8: 1
– mushroom ravioli and coke
Chapter 10: 2
– granola bar, milk from carton
– pizza
Chapter 11: .5
– cereal and fried eggs
Chapter 12: 1
– grilled cheese
Chapter 14: 1
– lasagna
Chapter 15: 1
– cereal
Chapter 17: 1
– Harry Clearwater’s Homemade Fish Fry
Chapter 20: 1
– leftover fruit






Effin’ Lauren

Running total: 10 Lauren being the worst
Chapter 4: 1
– Lauren is standoffish and ignores Bella at lunch (pg 78)
Chapter 6: 4
– Lauren has a nasally voice and sneers about Bella (pg 111)
– Lauren eyes Bella scornfully (pg 113)
– Lauren wears the WRONG SHOES for hiking (pg 116)
– Lauren speaks in an insolent tone (pg 121)
Chapter 7: 2
– Lauren is coming on girls trip ๐Ÿ™ (pg 145)
– Lauren has other obligations! (pg 150)
Chapter 8: 1
– Lauren hates Bella because Tyler asked her out (pg 154)
Chapter 9: 1
– Lauren was trying to ‘provoke’ Bella by mentioning Edward (pg 183)
Epilogue: 1
– Lauren glares at Bella at the prom (pg 494)






The TwiFight Civil War

Team Mary (pro)
Mike Newton
Carlisle Cullen
Lee Stephens
Alice Cullen
Keith Montminy
Emmett Cullen
Esme Cullen
Rene
Team Rachel (con)
Effin’ Lauren
Iron Man
Jacob Black
Rosalie Hale
Taylor Swift’s Boyfriend
Anna Smith
Rachel Black (and the rest of the Black Family)
Charlie Swan






Best Lines

Twilight
1. “When life offers you a dream so far beyond any of your expectations, itโ€™s not reasonable to grieve when it comes to an end.” – (preface)
2. “Sorry, no, so you shouldn’t make Jess wait any longer – it’s rude.” – (chap 4 – pg 73)
3. “What? Are you speaking to me again?” “No, not really.” – (chap 4 – pg 74)
4. “Will you ask me to the spring dance?” – (chap 4 – pg 77)
5. “Of course he wasn’t interested in me, I thought angrily, my eyes stinging – a delayed reaction to the onions.” – (chap 4 – pg 79)
6. “Yes – giving up trying to be good. I’m just going to do what I want now, and let the chips fall where they may.” – (chap 5 – pg 88)
7. “Making decisions was the painful part for me, the part I agonized over. But once the decision was made, I simply followed through.” – (chap 7 – pg 140)
8. “Nothing more fun than an irritated grizzly bear.” – (chap 10 – pg 215)
9. “This truck is old enough to be your car’s grandfather – have some respect.” – (chap 12 – pg 254)
10. “Will you turn into a bat?” – (chap 13 – pg 279)
11. “HE SWAM TO FRANCE?” – (chap 16 – pg 331)
12. “He was nearly as graceful and just as fast – yet Emmett could never be compared to a gazelle.” – (chap 17 – pg 367)
13. “It was the best idea – of course it was mine” – (chap 19 – pg 397)
14. “She smelled even better than you do. Sorry – I don’t mean to be offensive” – (chap 22 – pg 448)
15. “Of course, I was here with parental supervision” – (chap 24 – pg 462)






Worst Lines

Twilight
1. “I raised my head enough to make sure that she did, contemplating violence if she resisted.” – (chap 2 – pg 42)
2. “I was in danger of being distracted by his living, glorious face. It was like trying to stare down a destroying angel.” – (chap 3 – pg 65)
3. “Aren’t you hungry?” “No.” I didn’t feel like mentioning that my stomach was already full – of butterflies.” – (chap 5 – pg 91)
4. “The place was nearly filled but there was no sign of Edward or any of his family. Desolation hit me with crippling strength.” – (chap 7 – pg 145)
5. “Looking more like a Greek god than anyone had the right to – Edward was waiting for me.” – (chap 10 – pg 206)
6. “It must be a hard thing, to be a father, to live in fear that your daughter would meet a boy she liked, but also having to worry if she didn’t.” – (chap 11 – pg 227)
7. “He was too perfect. There was no way this godlike creature could be meant for me.” – (chap 12 – pg 256)
8. “Yes, you are exactly my brand of heroin.” – (chap 13 – pg 268)
9. “You are my life now.” – (chap 15 – pg 314)
10. “Does anyone want to hear my plan?” “No.” – (chap 18 – pg 384)
11. “My tears had given me an inspiration” – (chap 19 – pg 391)
12. “I had no choice now but one: To go to the mirrored room and die” – (chap 21 – pg 430)
13. “Is that what you dream about, being a monster?” “Mostly I dream about being with you forever” – (epilogue – pg 498)






Chapter Rankings

Twilight
1. The Cullens (chapter 15)
2. The Game (chapter 17)
3. Scary Stories (chapter 6)
4. Blood Type (chapter 5)
5. Hide-And-Seek (chapter 22)
6. Port Angeles (chapter 8)
7. Goodbyes (chapter 19)
8. The Hunt (chapter 18)
9. Carlisle (chapter 16)
10. Open Book (chapter 2)
11. Invitations (chapter 4)
12. Phenomenon (chapter 3)
13. Mind Over Matter (chapter 14)
14. Theory (chapter 9)
15. An Occasion (epilogue)
16. An Impasse (chapter 24)
17. Confessions (chapter 13)
18. Interrogations (chapter 10)
19. First Sight (chapter 1)
20. The Angel (chapter 23)
21. Nightmare (chapter 7)
22. Balancing (chapter 12)
23. Phone Call (chapter 21)
24. Impatience (chapter 29)
25. Complications (chapter 11)






Vampire Base Scale

1. Brush Hands
2. Arm Touch
3. Cheek Stroke
4. Stroke the Length of Face
5. Sit in Dark Classroom – Electricity
6. Listen to Heartbeat
7. Neck Sniff
8. Light, Closed Mouth Kiss
9. Kiss Below the Jaw (?)
10. PG Slumber Party
11. Fierce Goodbye Kiss
12. Fake Bite – Neck Kiss